What is the etiquette of khutbah — formally proposing marriage — including seeing the prospective spouse beforehand?

Khutbah refers to the act of a man, or his family on his behalf, formally requesting a woman's hand in marriage, usually directed to her or her guardian. Islamic etiquette encourages honesty and directness at this stage: the suitor should be truthful about his character, circumstances, and intentions, and the woman and her family have every right to ask questions and decline without needing to justify themselves. Notably, the Prophet (peace be upon him) permitted and even encouraged a man to see the woman he intends to propose to before finalizing things, reasoning that it helps ensure lasting affection between them, provided this viewing is limited to the face and hands and does not involve seclusion. It is also considered improper for a man to propose to a woman who has already accepted another man's proposal, since this risks sowing discord between two parties who have already reached an understanding. Overall, the etiquette centers on transparency, respect for the woman's right to accept or refuse, and avoiding anything that resembles courtship outside the bounds of what is permitted before an actual contract.

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