On hearing the news

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ، اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي، وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn. Allāhumma-ʾjurnī fī muṣībatī wa akhlif lī khayran minhā.

“Truly we belong to Allah, and truly to Him we return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and give me better than it in its place.” Umm Salamah said it when her husband Abū Salamah died — and Allah gave her the Messenger of Allah ﷺ in his place.

Qur’an 2:156 · Sahih Muslim 918

With the one who has died

Close the eyes and say only good: “When you are with the sick or the dead, say what is good, for the angels say āmīn to whatever you say” (Sahih Muslim 919). When Abū Salamah died, the Prophet ﷺ closed his eyes and prayed — say it with the name of the one who has died:

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِأَبِي سَلَمَةَ، وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي الْمَهْدِيِّينَ، وَاخْلُفْهُ فِي عَقِبِهِ فِي الْغَابِرِينَ، وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلَهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَافْسَحْ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ، وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيهِ

Allāhumma-ghfir li-Abī Salamah, warfaʿ darajatahū fil-mahdiyyīn, wakhlufhu fī ʿaqibihī fil-ghābirīn, waghfir lanā wa lahū yā Rabbal-ʿālamīn, wafsaḥ lahū fī qabrihī wa nawwir lahū fīh.

“O Allah, forgive Abū Salamah, raise his rank among the rightly guided, be his successor among those he leaves behind, forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds, make his grave spacious for him and give him light in it.”

Sahih Muslim 919, 920

Consoling the family (taʿziyah)

إِنَّ لِلَّهِ مَا أَخَذَ، وَلَهُ مَا أَعْطَى، وَكُلُّ شَيْءٍ عِنْدَهُ بِأَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى، فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ

Inna lillāhi mā akhadha wa lahū mā aʿṭā, wa kullu shayʾin ʿindahū bi-ajalin musammā, faltaṣbir waltaḥtasib.

“To Allah belongs what He took, and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed term — so let her be patient and hope for the reward.” The message the Prophet ﷺ sent to his daughter when her child was dying.

Sahih al-Bukhari 1284 · Sahih Muslim 923 · Condolence and grief →

Looking after the family

When news came of Jaʿfar’s death, the Prophet ﷺ said: “Prepare food for the family of Jaʿfar, for there has come to them what keeps them occupied.” The Sunnah is that relatives and neighbours cook for the bereaved.

Sunan Abi Dawud 3132 · Jamiʿ at-Tirmidhi 998 (ḥasan)

The funeral prayer

“Whoever attends a funeral until the prayer is offered has a qīrāṭ, and whoever stays until the burial has two — like two great mountains” (Sahih al-Bukhari 1325 · Sahih Muslim 945). Among the duʿāʾ the Prophet ﷺ made in it:

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ وَارْحَمْهُ، وَعَافِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنْهُ، وَأَكْرِمْ نُزُلَهُ، وَوَسِّعْ مُدْخَلَهُ، وَاغْسِلْهُ بِالْمَاءِ وَالثَّلْجِ وَالْبَرَدِ، وَنَقِّهِ مِنَ الْخَطَايَا كَمَا نَقَّيْتَ الثَّوْبَ الْأَبْيَضَ مِنَ الدَّنَسِ، وَأَبْدِلْهُ دَارًا خَيْرًا مِنْ دَارِهِ، وَأَهْلًا خَيْرًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ، وَزَوْجًا خَيْرًا مِنْ زَوْجِهِ، وَأَدْخِلْهُ الْجَنَّةَ، وَأَعِذْهُ مِنْ عَذَابِ الْقَبْرِ وَمِنْ عَذَابِ النَّارِ

Allāhumma-ghfir lahū warḥamhu, wa ʿāfihī waʿfu ʿanhu, wa akrim nuzulahū, wa wassiʿ mudkhalahū, waghsilhu bil-māʾi wath-thalji wal-barad, wa naqqihī minal-khaṭāyā kamā naqqayta-th-thawbal-abyaḍa minad-danas, wa abdilhu dāran khayran min dārihī, wa ahlan khayran min ahlihī, wa zawjan khayran min zawjihī, wa adkhilhul-jannah, wa aʿidhhu min ʿadhābil-qabri wa min ʿadhābin-nār.

“O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him, keep him safe and pardon him, honour his arrival and widen his entry; wash him with water, snow and hail, and cleanse him of sins as a white garment is cleansed of dirt; give him a home better than his home, a family better than his family and a spouse better than his spouse; admit him to Paradise and protect him from the punishment of the grave and of the Fire.” For a woman the pronouns become feminine (lahā, warḥamhā …).

Sahih Muslim 963 · How the prayer is prayed →

Lowering into the grave

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ وَعَلَى سُنَّةِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ

Bismillāhi wa ʿalā sunnati Rasūlillāh.

“In the name of Allah, and upon the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah.”

Sunan Abi Dawud 3213 · Jamiʿ at-Tirmidhi 1046 (“ʿalā millati”)

After the burial

The Prophet ﷺ would stand at the grave and say: “Ask forgiveness for your brother, and ask that he be made firm, for he is now being questioned.” The words are not fixed — for example:

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ، اللَّهُمَّ ثَبِّتْهُ

Allāhumma-ghfir lahū, Allāhumma thabbit-hu.

“O Allah, forgive him. O Allah, make him firm.”

Sunan Abi Dawud 3221 (ḥasan) · After the burial →

Visiting the graves

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ أَهْلَ الدِّيَارِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمِينَ، وَإِنَّا إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ بِكُمْ لَلَاحِقُونَ، أَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ لَنَا وَلَكُمُ الْعَافِيَةَ

As-salāmu ʿalaykum ahlad-diyāri minal-muʾminīna wal-muslimīn, wa innā in shāʾ-Allāhu bikum la-lāḥiqūn, asʾalu-llāha lanā wa lakumul-ʿāfiyah.

“Peace be upon you, people of these dwellings, believers and Muslims. We will, if Allah wills, join you. I ask Allah for well-being for us and for you.”

Sahih Muslim 975

Grief

At the death of his son Ibrāhīm the Prophet ﷺ wept and said: “The eye weeps and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord.” Mourning is three days — for a widow, four months and ten days.

Sahih al-Bukhari 1303, 1280 · Condolence and grief →